From the first moment you entered my world I felt a connection with you. I dreamt of you before you entered my life. Kept asking myself "who is this Matthew in my dreams?". I never knew until that night you would come real to me. We spent so many nights talking and falling for each other. I was afraid of saying " I love you" to you. For I have never been in love before. We have never touched hands let alone kissed. But as we grew closer and dreaming the same dreams. You became more real to me then anyone has before. We are of many miles apart, but when we spoke to each other I felt as if you were right here in the same room with me.
There were nights we never said "goodnight" but simply stayed talking with each other so we had many good nights. I loved you before I even laid my eyes on your pictures of your handsome face. But the moment I saw your face my dreams became real. You were the guy in my dream. You told me your name. My heart fluttered, my gut did its little butterfly dance. I became scared of you. Because I knew you were the one for me.
We would fall asleep talking with each other, snuggling, telling each other we love for one another. We would dream the same dream. Connecting us even more. I loved you even more.
We would talk of our past pains and sufferings, healing each other. We would argue, fuss and fight. But we would make somehow never give up. We would make amends. Fall deeper in love.
Something happened to take you away from me. I miss you so much. All I want to do is hold you and talk with you. I miss you. Maybe you feel the same. But who knows, but you? I can not picture myself with another man. Because after you who can compare to you? Who can make me feel safe at home and beautiful like you did?
I didn't care if you were rich nor poor. Because I felt complete with you. Funny even though we are not talking right now. I still feel you near me. I still feel complete. I smile for no reason. Then I feel you in my heart. I hear you in my thoughts. I still love you.
One day, I will get to dance you under the moonlit sky to just the song in our hearts. Because to me our lives have become a romance novel that has not finished. No matter where you are, just know I hope you haven't stopped dreaming about us. I hope our dreams become reality. Our romance novel gets written through to the end. I hope you hear me every time I say I love you...
Friday, December 26, 2014
I want to dance with you...
I dreamt of you before you entered my world. Kept asking myself "who is this Matthew?". It was the same dream my going to the door you're there on the outside. You'd say the same thing in each time because the dream never changed. You'd say " I'm never leaving you again!". I'd wake up from the dream lay there wondering "who the hell am I dreaming of? Why does he say that to me?" Then...
You came into my life for real just on a whim. You came into my group one night. Almost like you were looking for someone to hold you up while your life was so dark. We sat there talking for hours. You, me and my friend. You and I just kept chatting all night then all day. Time just got away from us. But we didn't care. To me in the beginning I was a friend helping a friend out of a bad situation.
We grew stronger over that weekend. You got strong enough to walk out and become a better man. Over time you have become stronger and better for yourself. Over time our worlds collided into one world of just us.
Our souls became one soul. We felt and heard each other without even needing to be in the same room let alone the same continent. I was your very first email ever. You were the first man I ever fell in love with. We spent so much time together we were putting our own separate lives on hold for each other.
Within a week I confessed how I loved you. Though I was afraid you weren't even there. I had to tell you how I felt. Then you surprised me by replying your feelings were the same. That you wanted to say it before but were afraid it was too soon. But after all the time we spent together it felt we were together for a year before we said when it hadnt even been a week.
Now remember I've never been in love. So feeling it scares me. Because that means deep inside throughout all the talking we've done, throughout all the healing we've dine to help each other let go of past pains throughout all the fussing, fighting and bickering you grabbed my soul and completed me. You molded me to fit your life. You made me feel at home and beautiful. I have never felt that before you. I dont ever want to feel it with another man either. For me you are all I needed in my life.
You've let me into your world where I helped you through things as well. But something happened that took your heart away. I pray it's only temporary and that the dreams we shared do come true someday. Maybe everything just became too real for you and you got scared. Whatever it is holding you from becoming fully happy I hope you get passed so we can move on together.
I tell you this, Love. I love you for those months we spent together talking about anything and everything. Listening to music together. Feeling as if we were in the same room together even though we are too many miles apart. I felt you were just away on business. I still feel that way.
I think some of the negative people got to me saying let him go, he's not worth it. They don't know how worth it you really are. They don't know because they were there listening to us. They don't know the obstacles we climbed over just to love each other.
We would snuggle in together telling each other sweet dreams and I love you as we fell asleep. We would wake up texting each other our I love yous. Those months we had together felt like years for me. Thank you for making me feel complete my Love. I hope I am still your Babe. You are the only one I ever let me call me that. You know it. Just like you letting me get away with calling you by your name. I'm not done loving you. Take your time Love. But in the end get your butt home to me.
I want to dance under the moonlit skies above us to the music in our hearts. I want to kiss the man who owns my heart, goodnight. I want to watch you play with our son just as in our dreams. I want to lay on the couch watching the Golden Girls. We made a pact. I promised you forever. You agreed to onions and coconut, my Love.
Let's get on with our romance novel only we can write...
You came into my life for real just on a whim. You came into my group one night. Almost like you were looking for someone to hold you up while your life was so dark. We sat there talking for hours. You, me and my friend. You and I just kept chatting all night then all day. Time just got away from us. But we didn't care. To me in the beginning I was a friend helping a friend out of a bad situation.
We grew stronger over that weekend. You got strong enough to walk out and become a better man. Over time you have become stronger and better for yourself. Over time our worlds collided into one world of just us.
Our souls became one soul. We felt and heard each other without even needing to be in the same room let alone the same continent. I was your very first email ever. You were the first man I ever fell in love with. We spent so much time together we were putting our own separate lives on hold for each other.
Within a week I confessed how I loved you. Though I was afraid you weren't even there. I had to tell you how I felt. Then you surprised me by replying your feelings were the same. That you wanted to say it before but were afraid it was too soon. But after all the time we spent together it felt we were together for a year before we said when it hadnt even been a week.
Now remember I've never been in love. So feeling it scares me. Because that means deep inside throughout all the talking we've done, throughout all the healing we've dine to help each other let go of past pains throughout all the fussing, fighting and bickering you grabbed my soul and completed me. You molded me to fit your life. You made me feel at home and beautiful. I have never felt that before you. I dont ever want to feel it with another man either. For me you are all I needed in my life.
You've let me into your world where I helped you through things as well. But something happened that took your heart away. I pray it's only temporary and that the dreams we shared do come true someday. Maybe everything just became too real for you and you got scared. Whatever it is holding you from becoming fully happy I hope you get passed so we can move on together.
I tell you this, Love. I love you for those months we spent together talking about anything and everything. Listening to music together. Feeling as if we were in the same room together even though we are too many miles apart. I felt you were just away on business. I still feel that way.
I think some of the negative people got to me saying let him go, he's not worth it. They don't know how worth it you really are. They don't know because they were there listening to us. They don't know the obstacles we climbed over just to love each other.
We would snuggle in together telling each other sweet dreams and I love you as we fell asleep. We would wake up texting each other our I love yous. Those months we had together felt like years for me. Thank you for making me feel complete my Love. I hope I am still your Babe. You are the only one I ever let me call me that. You know it. Just like you letting me get away with calling you by your name. I'm not done loving you. Take your time Love. But in the end get your butt home to me.
I want to dance under the moonlit skies above us to the music in our hearts. I want to kiss the man who owns my heart, goodnight. I want to watch you play with our son just as in our dreams. I want to lay on the couch watching the Golden Girls. We made a pact. I promised you forever. You agreed to onions and coconut, my Love.
Let's get on with our romance novel only we can write...
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