I dreamt of you before you entered my world. Kept asking myself "who is this Matthew?". It was the same dream my going to the door you're there on the outside. You'd say the same thing in each time because the dream never changed. You'd say " I'm never leaving you again!". I'd wake up from the dream lay there wondering "who the hell am I dreaming of? Why does he say that to me?" Then...
You came into my life for real just on a whim. You came into my group one night. Almost like you were looking for someone to hold you up while your life was so dark. We sat there talking for hours. You, me and my friend. You and I just kept chatting all night then all day. Time just got away from us. But we didn't care. To me in the beginning I was a friend helping a friend out of a bad situation.
We grew stronger over that weekend. You got strong enough to walk out and become a better man. Over time you have become stronger and better for yourself. Over time our worlds collided into one world of just us.
Our souls became one soul. We felt and heard each other without even needing to be in the same room let alone the same continent. I was your very first email ever. You were the first man I ever fell in love with. We spent so much time together we were putting our own separate lives on hold for each other.
Within a week I confessed how I loved you. Though I was afraid you weren't even there. I had to tell you how I felt. Then you surprised me by replying your feelings were the same. That you wanted to say it before but were afraid it was too soon. But after all the time we spent together it felt we were together for a year before we said when it hadnt even been a week.
Now remember I've never been in love. So feeling it scares me. Because that means deep inside throughout all the talking we've done, throughout all the healing we've dine to help each other let go of past pains throughout all the fussing, fighting and bickering you grabbed my soul and completed me. You molded me to fit your life. You made me feel at home and beautiful. I have never felt that before you. I dont ever want to feel it with another man either. For me you are all I needed in my life.
You've let me into your world where I helped you through things as well. But something happened that took your heart away. I pray it's only temporary and that the dreams we shared do come true someday. Maybe everything just became too real for you and you got scared. Whatever it is holding you from becoming fully happy I hope you get passed so we can move on together.
I tell you this, Love. I love you for those months we spent together talking about anything and everything. Listening to music together. Feeling as if we were in the same room together even though we are too many miles apart. I felt you were just away on business. I still feel that way.
I think some of the negative people got to me saying let him go, he's not worth it. They don't know how worth it you really are. They don't know because they were there listening to us. They don't know the obstacles we climbed over just to love each other.
We would snuggle in together telling each other sweet dreams and I love you as we fell asleep. We would wake up texting each other our I love yous. Those months we had together felt like years for me. Thank you for making me feel complete my Love. I hope I am still your Babe. You are the only one I ever let me call me that. You know it. Just like you letting me get away with calling you by your name. I'm not done loving you. Take your time Love. But in the end get your butt home to me.
I want to dance under the moonlit skies above us to the music in our hearts. I want to kiss the man who owns my heart, goodnight. I want to watch you play with our son just as in our dreams. I want to lay on the couch watching the Golden Girls. We made a pact. I promised you forever. You agreed to onions and coconut, my Love.
Let's get on with our romance novel only we can write...
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