Times Up!

                The thing is there comes a time in your life when you are ready to move on. I recently hit that spot.  And really I can't say it is for one thing only. I am ready to move on from things and people in general. Let them all go and be free of things and people who make me sad and unbearable in my life. I have friends who I have hit a point I am sick of seeing their faces or hearing their voices. I have a job I am not happy with and a boss who is crazy. I hate going there. I hate coming home too. My kid drives me crazy. My X still is here and seems like he won't ever move on with his life and part of it is my mistake that I know. I am doing what I can to pay for bills. Seems like I will never catch up. Since I am the only one who brings income into the house. The X sits around and gets (well got ) $300 bucks a month from welfare. Even that didn't help because he smokes more than that in a month. Now he has nothing for money coming in, because he sits and waits for life to happen. But he claims he is "working on it". Well I finally hit that spot in my life if he has nothing coming into this house in 2 weeks he can pack and have his butt on a bus back to Lynn and leave me alone for good. I have enough bills I shouldn't have to pay for himto smoke and rack up bills because he won't do things the right way. I am tired and stressed. My kid in the past month I have spent $100 for her to go out. When is my turn to go out and do something? I haven't gone out and had fun for myself since tax season. Even when I do that I feel guilty because the money can be going towards bills or something more important than me getting new clothes or sneakers. It has been 2 years since I went to a movie theater. Seriously, I am sad too much. I shouldn't be like this. I have finally hit that point even though my kids birthday is this week, all she is getting is a cake and the present I bought her. She can make comments about how she wants this and that but you know what. Fuck that! I am not making her happy buying her a cellphone or giving her money to go out. My birthday comes and goes and no one ever gives me anything, not even a card. Same thing goes for the X he gets shit on his birthday and he still cheated on me and makes me feel like shit. Just someone stupid fat bitch to use and lie to. My days for caring for them and giving them what they want are over and done with. I am tired of being broke and not paying my bills. Starting this week I am going to pay my lotrent and pay one bill at a time and when the time comes, maybe just maybe I will splurge on things, but for now.. I gotta do what is right and when he wants a cigarette it is not my problem. Idon't smoke a pack in under 6 hours I shouldn't have to deal with it. I am sorry if I wasn't cheated on and lied to maybe I wouldn't be so cold towards him. I can't help he fucked up not once but twice that I know of. Then he has the balls to ask me everytime I get a text or something "What's that John?". So what if it is? Seriously, he lost the rights to know who I am talking to when he got caught the second time. I have a right to have friends. If he doesn't like it he doesn't have to be living in my house for free..He knows where the door is. Why he stays I will never know. I mean when he cheats he tells the women I am his uncle. He lied to me telling me he was going to stay at his mothers house for a night when he was with his girlfriend fucking her. I don't believe a word he says, even when he says bless you. I am holding somuch frustration in me it is ridiculous.
         My boss..How can I put this politely? She is a bitch. She will say things to hurt your feelings then turn around and tell you that you can't take a joke. Lately no matter what I do I am wrong. I even sat there and covered the store last week all week opening the store at 5 am, to have her tell me I am "slacker who can't do anything right" and she told me "Just do your job", because I took out cigarettes for my coworkers so they wouldn't have to run out back when the store is busy to get supplies. She has been on this super power trip lately and it is crazy.
I tried going for a new job through Comcast for a door to door rep. the guy who came to talk to me about the job seemed cool but things he was saying when I had to to digest it all didn't seem right. He has 2 new employees who have been waiting over amonth for a badge in order to get paid. And you can't work unless you have a badge. You are to go to certain houses, but he skips the elderly houses. You get paid $25 just for entering the houses. You can get paid anywhere from $35 up to $200 per house depending on the package deal the person chooses. But you don't get paid for the purchase until a month after the installation. So even if I got a badge it can still take a month to earn money and get paid? You get paid every 2 weeks but your first check isn't for 3 weeks. No problem I can handle that. But it doesn't sound right either way you look at it. $25 just to enter a house. $35 to $200 depends on package. But you have to wait a month to get paid for the package you signed them up for.  Ok so if I went into 3 houses during a week that's $75 if they sign the thing stating I entered. After taxes that's what $40? If they chose a package I have to wait for the money from that. So am I to live on $40 for 2 weeks or something? He was talking as if I can quit the job I have and hate now I can make buku bucks. But when I sit and think about it. Sounds to me like a lie. What to do what to do?..
                  All I know at this point is that times up and some games people are playing. Not my problem anymore. 2 weeks is 2 weeks.  You all will know in 2 weeks when I come here and tell ya. Shits changed and trash was taking out...Speak with yas some more next time. And leave me your ideas or comments...Thanks